So...how did you know?
The question I always get
I made a joke on Twitter the other day after receiving an ironically timed email from Movember:
But obviously I’m joking and not trying to slam Movember. I have participated a few times over the years and donated, so I’m on their email list. In fact, I’m participating again this year (and I encourage you to do the same!). As I type this blog, I have a mustache, I’m prepared to look weird for a month (see below), and this time I will have my own story to tell.
In the short 5 weeks since I was diagnosed, I have told and retold my story to so many people. But I have noticed something almost universally true when I talk to other guys about testicular cancer. Those chats often go like this:
“How are you feeling, man? Better? Great. That’s crazy that it all happened so fast. So…how did you know?”
This is a problem. Not for me, I’m happy they ask, but it’s unfortunate that a majority of guys are unsure of what to look for, and more importantly how quickly to act. I’ve written about the testicular cancer community on Reddit – nearly every day I see a new post from someone who wonders if they should go see their doctor about a lump or pain or issue they’ve just noticed. The answer is always yes. Anything that seems out of the ordinary is worth a trip to the doctor. I know that’s easy for me to say as a person with good health insurance, so I want to be careful to acknowledge that not everyone has that luxury. But when it comes to potential cancer, there should be no question. Get checked.
QUICK DISCLAIMER: I’m gonna get a little more specific with the details, but not graphic, so fair warning. However I don’t think I can accurately share my story unless I give a little more information. But of course if this is something you’d rather not read, I get it. Weirdo.
I wrote very generally about what I experienced in my first blog. My right testicle was big, at least doubled in size, and over the weekend it grew even more. So this is where I think people need some clarification – post-puberty, those things are pretty much gonna be that size for a while with fluctuations here or there. But one shouldn’t be all of a sudden gigantic while the other is normal.
Here’s where I want dudes to hear me. If this happens to you, GO SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. I noticed this oddity on myself at 3:30 AM. I knew what it was, I had very little doubt, because my brother dealt with this over 10 years ago. I have been checking constantly ever since he was diagnosed, and it seemed like I was always thinking “when is it gonna happen?”. So, at 3:30 AM, lying in bed unable to fall asleep, I opened my Vanderbilt app and made an appointment. And when the app scheduled me for an appointment a week away, I waited until the office was open and I called. You are your truest and best advocate. You know your body better than anyone. Listen to it!
Here’s the next thing to remember. You can read all the things online that you want about how testicular cancer presents itself, but I never read that it would look like a giant egg. Usually I would read about a visible lump or something – but the one consistent thing was that the testicle wasn’t painful. It was just big. Nothing is set in stone here, nothing is exactly the same between every case, and every case is worth checking out. I mean, my own doctor thought it was something called hydrocele, a collection of fluid around the testicle. But he said we would just check it out anyway.
Oh, here’s a funny story and something to expect if you have to go through this. Even though my doctor thought I had hydrocele, he sent me out to get an ultrasound anyway just to be sure. I went alone to this imaging place in Cool Springs and soon a young 20ish year old woman called me back. It was just awkward, because I knew where she had to do an ultrasound, and after watching Katie do this with three kids I kinda have an idea what all that entails. So she had me get ready and lay on the table. I had to…hmm, how do I put this…cover up one certain body part while leaving the other parts out. Then she did the ultrasound on the right testicle. We were sitting in this dark room in total silence. It was the most awkward thing ever. I knew I had to break the ice for my own sanity, but didn’t want to come off as a creep or weirdo. So I thought, I’ll just wait for my moment. After about 10 minutes, she said, “Okay, I have to turn up the sound to listen.” This was it. My moment. I said, “Weird, after 39 years I’ve never heard them make a sound.” We both laughed hard, a relief from the weird situation, and all was well. I mean, until a couple days later when they told me I had cancer.
So ultimately I am happy that I took action immediately instead of denying or ignoring the issue. It made my life a lot easier in hindsight. And while I’m not fully in the clear yet, I am closer. My oncologist said to me, “We’re not looking at a survival situation here, we’re looking at a cure.” That was a huge statement for me to hear. It helps me sleep at night. Not that I was having trouble with that anyway, a side effect sometimes from the surgery is chronic fatigue (for a few months at least). That’s a small price to pay for being cured.
If you see me online or in real life sporting a huge mustache, this blog explains why. I want other guys to know what I know now. I will tell them all of this if they ask what the deal is with the ‘stache. I want people to take care of themselves and live for a long time. Cancer doesn’t have to be the end – if we are blessed with the opportunity to notice the disease, we should punch it into the stratosphere and out of our bodies instantly.
You are an amazing human ❤️🙏🏼