moving forward

September has come and gone, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least mention the significance of that month. Two years ago in early September, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. The fight isn’t over completely but I’d wager it’s at least 90% there. Once these two lymph nodes behind my abdomen shrink down to nothing, I can breathe easier. But right now it’s not so bad. I have the best diagnosis you could ask for (as far as cancer stuff goes), and I’m focusing on other aspects of my health as I ease into my 40s, but I feel good – I am very active and overall I do my best to look at the positives and stay happy (with some down times, admittedly), and I don’t go back to see my oncologist until December. I have Halloween and Thanksgiving to enjoy with Katie and the boys first.

My oncologist appointments are becoming more routine. They’re like a box I’m checking instead of a source of terror that doesn’t seem to end. I’ve written at length about those appointments and won’t recap right now, because that’s not where I am. I am much more interested in expressing myself creatively.

Last month I decided to skip recapping cancer and instead tried something new on this blog – writing a short story. Shorts, specifically from two of my favorite authors Richard Matheson and Stephen King, have always entertained me. I enjoy both of these authors’ novels, but their shorts have always been captivating. I love picking up a compilation book and reading one or two shorts in a sitting. Writing my stories on Substack felt like the examples I read of how Matheson would have stories published in various sci-fi magazines and even Playboy. It was very much like the Wild West, where Matheson was in control of his output and could contribute as much as he’d like, wherever he’d like.

So I challenged myself to write a short story that would double as a long joke, and be intentionally confusing to most until they reached the punchline. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to do so. If you have, I hope you got the joke. If you didn’t get it, read it again and reach out if you need a hint. I think it’s a great joke, but I also know that comedy is subjective. If you hate it or think it’s not great, I won’t be offended.

Moving forward, I will be writing and publishing more short stories along with health updates (when I feel like sharing). Ultimately I would like to write a book – I have the story, I just want to sharpen my skills of constructing narratives to make it the best version of what I think is a pretty great tale. And by pivoting to more creative ventures, just know that I am not avoiding cancer – good news or not, it’s a part of my story – but I’m allowing myself to be sharpened by it. One of the lessons I learned over the past two years is that we are physically finite, but that doesn’t have to be discouraging. Life is a gift, opportunities are a gift, relationships are a gift, friendships are a gift. Everything is a gift. We’re existing at the same time (unless for some reason you’re reading this well after I’m dead, in which case I ask you to please visit my grave and play “Baba O’Riley” by The Who on whatever type of device you use nowadays) and that is absolutely a gift.

Thanks for reading – not to be stereotypical/annoying, but I encourage you to share my blog and subscribe. I hope to have a short for you to read soon, but until then, take care of yourselves and thank you for the support.