here we go

My Father’s Day was really great.

Katie made me an omelet and gave me two gifts, a Meater wireless grilling thermometer and a pair of Crocs with the kids’ faces on them. I have always been anti-Crocs, but started warming up to them when the boys got some. They’re super convenient and I figured great for just going in and out. So I now am a Croc man. I’ve reached that level.

I did my only major tasks of the day early - mowing the lawn and filling out my pre-visit forms before my scans tomorrow - and then Katie took the boys away for three hours. What a saint she is.

I showered, shaved, ate lunch while listening to music really loud, played Pac-Man on NES and Spider-Man: Miles Morales on PS5. It was amazing having that time to just do my thing. Then when the kids came home we loaded up and ate dinner at Emmy Squared with Matt and Emily. Couldn’t have capped it off better.

I just put Theo to bed, and I won’t lie - I’m anxious. Not more or less than times before, but I guess about the same. I suppose after this appointment I will have more peace of mind moving forward since the PET scan should show us more of what’s going on, more definitively than CT scans. I guess we will find out when we get there.

Writing a blog every day has been very cathartic, and I’ll probably do it again before the next round of whatever action I take. I’ve learned that it’s entirely possible and normal to feel extreme feelings in the same day. I’ve been worried and carefree today. Happy and sad. Depends on the time of day, I suppose.

I’ll do an update post when I feel like it, maybe tomorrow or a day or so after. It sort of depends on what happens tomorrow. But the purpose of this blog is to be therapeutic for me and informative and comforting to others. I hope that is how it’s received.

But reflecting on all of this and talking about it helps, so thanks for reading. Even with dark moments, today has been an overwhelmingly great day, and my hope is to pull the positive moments from even darker days and continue pushing forward.

Talk with you soon!